1) I am almost ten years old. I am not a “kitten”.
2) You will bring me three of those delicious yoghurt you give me every morning.
3) The length and relative pointy-ness of my claws is just fine as they currently are.
4) You will pet my forehead and ears, gently front to back, until I indicate that am ready for you to stop. This should not be difficult for you to interpret, even considering the limited capacity for language that your species possesses.
5) You will remain quiet, still, and warm for a period of time not less than 30 minutes, and not more than 90 minutes.
6) Yes, OK. I love you. Just so. What? You… [sigh] must I always…? Oh, very well: Prrrrrr.
7) I believe one more yogurth or glass of red wine treat is in order.
Texto de acá. Gatito es mío, no se lo roben :P